Christmas

 Watch the markets do not like, do not like to listen to blasting firecrackers, affectionate couples do not like to see, do not like the holidays. It seems more and more lively holiday will only make more and more lively lonely alone. Fear of the fear of the Christmas is coming, one after another along with New Year's Day, New Year, Spring Festival, and then have to face the coming year, the busy and growing years, it all started makes me feel panic.
go to the market seems to like snow on Christmas Eve had joined in the fun, these two days never had chest pain, along with breathing, walking, and turned to have a moment of pain of suffocation. I suddenly felt vulnerable good life will not open my eyes at night will never leave this world, also began I would not have suspected disease die. I do not know because my heart has been so long backlog of too many things; still my heart has always been a scar just this moment I feel such a deep pain; or because of heavy snow frostbite My heart just felt so clear chest pain.
cold on the street, scattered snow floating trance I think they seem to be such. lively festival does not love a person I would prefer to spend alone. crowded the supermarket, everywhere clamoring for big price cuts are crowded with people everywhere, I feel a little mixed in the middle of a loss, seems to be festivals, went all the way from the entrance I did something no heart, a shelf filled with all kinds chocolate, chocolate Valentine's Day is not it? lovers festivals are perhaps the most fun it had been chocolate bar as the preferred gift. from which to pick a large box of Dove dark chocolate, I think I'm gonna eat Chocolate This is my gift to myself, suddenly remembered that he ran out of toner ran counter to pick a bottle of water went to the counter to pay, I was thinking back from the supermarket to do in the holiday today.
because Christmas Eve has been very busy the night before so I have been reluctant to face the festive holiday a day early than the others, it could have been Christmas Eve night, I thought it was Christmas shopping with my colleagues pulled off work. tell the truth my clothes plenty of money , cabinet has been full, I suddenly just feel less leather coat, so the whole night I tried four of the down jacket, of course, is my fancy, and all black, in the red last year, my crazy obsession, That was my mother said I look good wearing the red, but this year I bought a lot of black clothes in summer it is because he said he like black, I understand every word he says I have in mind. Later, the two choose between rooms, I decided to buy ONLY that section down jacket, but I have 9 more than the goods have been booked so no goods to take the next day.
bus to go home at night at his place of work I am still far from ready to point, ready to look at the passing of the moment he is in, although there may be ten times passing his back twice to see me excited enough time for you. to pass the time did not see, come back front of the store they have a white car above the printed name of the company, while the sub shop was closed, I think tonight is the dinner went to the what, so they parked the boss, he is carrying the company where it is all to the what, There must have been his beloved, do not you!
this evening, just after I ran directly toward the destination, it shall take the ONLY down jacket, still choose their company passed, far to see his car there is only with the past not the same as the location of stop, staring from the glass door looking for his shadow to no avail. went off five Weir Street, cross the road when I still think if passed me how can I do? So this time I should pretending to be free and easy look comfortable, but I was lonely a bit pathetic now, so if I choose not to meet. it seems to get finished clothes can not wait to go out into the return, just passing the door of his company saw him far from the traffic lights still parked in the car I think he must have been. glanced seems to see his back, but always not clear.
I think I still have not forgotten him, my heart actually been looking forward to the day he can give me a call, even if Ye Hao simple greetings, but we broke up more than anything else is so decisive and calm, but also a month without his phone can not receive a blessing festival SMS, I do not know in a moment he would think of me Well, I'm really so bad Why, is it really so completely forgotten me!
I wake up at midnight the number of filled his head, thinking he was looking for scenes once loved me the track, just a moment I really hate him, find him a passion sometimes just want to tell him: I met him really know what cheating! just turn around and I can not imagine what it means, a very casual hand a woman asked a man for money immediately to break up what else can you get back!
the best choice, only to give up and forget.